Newsletter December 2022

Is this Life-Giving?

A message from WPF President, Amy Baradell

As I am working on this article, the year is coming to an end very quickly, and one of my dearest friends, Astrid, is in the hospital recovering from brain surgery.  She has known her need for this surgery to repair two aneurysms since the middle of August. I have witnessed her many emotions faith in God. She was told of the urgency of having the surgery and then waited several weeks for it to be scheduled. It was suddenly scheduled, then canceled and put out 6 more weeks. As we were setting up for the Holiday Bazaar, she received a call informing her that the surgery could be scheduled in two days. Her surgery was on November 11th in Raleigh.  It has been a rollercoaster! As she processed through it I saw her come to a decision. She would do those things that mattered, that were life-giving. She declared if someone called and wanted to meet for coffee, she would go.  She was all in for life!

I enjoy a podcast called, “The Next Right Thing.” Emily P. Freeman is the host. She uses lists to reflect regularly on her life. One she calls “A Life Energy List.”  She believes it is helpful to reflect back on the week, the months, the year and consider what was life-draining and what was life-giving. It seems simple, but it takes time and a hard, truthful look at our choices.

 Why would we ever continue something that isn’t life giving?  Why would I continue in a job that drains me? Why would I keep saying yes to more things than I can possibly do, ending each day exhausted?  Why would I stay in a boundaryless relationship, seeing my efforts used and abused?  The main reason is that change is just hard. How do we do it?

Slow down and look over the past month. Make a list of things that were life-draining. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we think, this “should” be life giving, but in reality, it isn’t.  Did this activity give life in a season that has now passed? How do you let it go?  Is there something that is life-giving to others, but not to you?  Can you allow yourself to say no? You will not be able to opt out of every life-draining thing, but there certainly are some you can eliminate. 

Now, think back on the things that were life-giving. Some of them may surprise you. They can be very simple, like sitting on your porch on a quiet fall evening.  They can be hard, like having an uncomfortable conversation.  They can be repeated as you create a rhythm for your days.  They can change with the seasons of your life. Making a list may help you fill your days with things that give you life and let go of things that don’t. 

Here’s a list of some of the things that are life-giving to me:

• Daily space to be with God, reflect, and be still.

• Being with children.

• Running.

• Music.

• Remembering with thankfulness.

• Mercy, receiving it and giving it.

• Smiling.

• Celebrating everyday things.

• Meaningful relationships.

Many of these meaningful relationships are in WPF. They are meaningful because we are, as my husband likes to say, “Doing life together.”  

As 2022 is coming to an end, I want to thank you all for the support and encouragement I have received as WPF President.  I have cherished all that we have done and am excited to see what 2023 will bring. I am hopeful that as we all continue to grow, we will choose that cup of coffee with a friend. 

As I am finishing this article, Astrid is home. She is so thankful as she is healing and getting stronger every day. 

Four Minute Special

ANNE FLEGAL SMITH

My mother, Annie Ruth Ayers, was born in 1911, on a farm in middle Tennessee. The youngest of eight children, she worked in the fields and grew up wanting to be a doctor. She graduated from high school, and her 58-year-old father told his daughter she had only two choices: nursing or teaching. She chose teaching and she graduated from Teachers College (which became Middle Tennessee State University). For 35 years, she taught high school, first grade, and third grade. At night, she drove to a disenfranchised urban neighborhood to teach adult men and women to read and write.

Five years before my mother was born, and 14 years before women could vote, three female public-school teachers asked the Chattanooga school board to provide a fourth year of high school studies that included modern language and lab science so that young girls, as well as boys, would have the skills to apply to college. The school board said no. Undeterred, the three teachers pooled their money and converted an old home into a four-room schoolhouse with second-hand desks, an alcove library, and a cloakroom. Thus did Girls Preparatory School (GPS) open its doors on September 12, 1906, to enroll 45 girls, each of whom paid $80 for a year’s tuition.

When I was a baby, my then 36-year-old mother and 39-year-old father enrolled me to sit for the GPS 7th grade entrance exam, thirteen years away. They believed that six years of private school tuition was an investment in providing me with opportunities my mother never had. With top-of-the-class math grades and nearly perfect SAT scores, my teachers (and my mother) pointed me toward computer science and away from teaching. I graduated from Auburn University in 1969 with a degree in Mathematics and Industrial Engineering. That was precisely what Bell Labs was looking for – women with math and engineering degrees. I devoted nearly fifteen years to Bell Labs on a research and design team which developed and implemented software and hardware to automate repair service for Bell Telephone Companies nationwide. It was a great working environment where the men treated women team-mates with the utmost respect.

In 1971 I met the love of my life, Jonathan Wilds Smith, and we married. Seven years later, which coincided with the height of my Bell Labs career, I gave birth to our daughter, Alison, believing I would return to work within a week. To my incredible surprise, my interest in returning to my work fell to zero. My department head, who never considered I wouldn’t return to work, was equally surprised. He hustled to work out a part-time position for me with full benefits after a six-month leave. At the same time, I negotiated a place for Alison in the UNCG infant care center and continued to work half-time for the next eight years. I took maternity leave again in 1980 when I gave birth to our second child, Justin. By 1984, Bell Labs asked me to return full-time, and I turned in my resignation.

By 1987, our kids were seven and ten, and I missed work. Jonathan was starting up an investment advisory firm and asked if I might be interested in joining him. I agreed, and we became equal partners in Jonathan Smith & Co., which we renamed Smith Partners Wealth Management. With my love for solving problems, great pattern recognition, and a passion for helping people successfully navigate their financial lives, I found the perfect job.

Maintaining a full-time position in the firm, I’ve found the time to stay engaged in our community, serving on the boards of The Greensboro Symphony Orchestra, Greensboro Young Life, the Pi Beta Phi alumnae club, WPF, and the WPFF.  Still, my favorite work in the community has been in my front yard.

On her way home for Christmas break from NC State, daughter Ali saw a lighted chicken wire ball, stepped out of her car, and drew a sketch on her art pad. As soon as she said, “I’m home,” she asked her dad to help her make one. That was 1996, twenty-three years ago. On November 20, 2022, our neighborhood hosted its 20th annual ball-making party. The effort has become much more than some pretty lights. This winter, we expect that the neighbors of Sunset Hills and the Lighted Christmas Balls will have provided six million meals for hungry persons in our region. What continues to make this successful is the generous people in Greensboro and beyond who donate food and dollars. Thanks for making this idea a million times better than we ever thought it would be when we put the little red trailer out in the front yard for the first time to collect food! Shine the Light on Hunger